There are two forms of perception; the way we see ourselves and the world around us and the way others see us and the world around them.
Perceptions guided by open-mindedness can be helpful and positive. Being open-minded to how perceptions of others differ from our own can enrich our own experiences and insights.
It can make space for possibilities toward personal growth and discovery.
With an open mind, we can learn how to use new concepts that build on existing ideas. If we are willing to consider new and different ideas we also create a catalyst for flexibility in the problem-solving process.
The only perception we have control over is our own, we cannot control the perception of others. But is it possible to become so disorientated and confused to the point where we suddenly see ourselves through another person’s perception of us? Yes it is!
Pay attention to the people around you:
Are there some who regularly (and perhaps with a smile on their face) criticize you? Are there some who consistently change, or even deny, what happened or what was being said until you start second-guessing yourself and your feelings? Do you feel the need to apologize all the time for what you do or for who you are? Do you feel as though you’re a much weaker version of yourself now, whereas you were much more confident in the past? Do you feel as though you suddenly lost your ability to make your own judgments? Has it become habitual to ask yourself “What is wrong with me?”
If those scenarios describe your experiences, you are not alone and chances are that you are being “Gaslighted” – a term used to describe a method that intends to undermine a person’s entire sense of reality. It is a practice that aims to make another person feel as though her sense of self, her experiences, and her feelings have no legitimacy.
“Gaslighters” will use their version of reality to the point that we will end up seeing ourselves through their eyes!
“Gaslighting” doesn’t always involve anger and it might not necessarily be done intentionally.
But whether it is done intentionally or unintentionally
– it is never okay and you don't have to put up with it!
While it is true that in some circumstances we genuinely might be overreacting, it is also important for us to listen to our instincts. The problem is that we may have unlearned to trust our intuition, especially in the absence of external evidence! Our subconscious, however, will continue with this lingering feeling that “something just is not right”.
Listen to this feeling and don’t be fearful to seek help, either professionally or through a trusted support network so that you can re-claim your true self and heal your relationship with yourself.
If you are in need of support please contact me
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