As women, we often have greater expectations of ourselves than any reasonable human could possibly expect to achieve. We have careers, and then come home and raise children, cook dinner, clean the house, and take care of our husbands. There is a certain stigma against those who don't follow this pattern, as if saying 'no' is so forbidden we can't even speak of it.
Setting boundaries is a crucial part of maintaining your health, and learning how to embrace your inner strengths. As women, learning how to say 'no' is something no one has ever taught us, but it is just as vital and important as being able to say 'yes.'
How personal boundaries can help you
Have you ever been pushed into doing something you didn't really want to do? Perhaps you just started a new relationship and your new man already wants to be intimate when you're not ready. You might say no, or you may give in because you're afraid he won't want to stay with you if you don't. This is a personal boundary and allowing it to be ignored just leads to more boundaries being broken down.
While you may think having no boundaries will help you grow in your relationship, the reality is that being able to say 'no' when you are not comfortable produces the opposite. Loving commitments with people who understand.
It's never too late to start
The people in your life, yes even the people who love you and want the best for you, may be a little surprised or disgruntled when you suddenly change the rules on them. That's okay. Making these changes will positively impact everyone around you with time and though your family might not like the changes at first, the results will be well worth it.
Help the change through embracing inner strengths
In order to be successful at setting personal boundaries, you may find it helpful to look inside you for those inner strengths, and help them to shine. Science has long studied how we interact with the world, and have discovered that inner strengths such as positive thinking, self-soothing, and self respect can make a difference not only in yourself, but in the people around you.
Most of the inner strength you have in you was there since the day you were born. If it feels like you don't have that trait, it isn't that it is not there, but that you may have denied yourself the right to embrace it yet! The path to these inner strength lies in strengthening them, and helping yourself to change how you think for the better.
Start showing yourself a little self-love today
When someone tries to bully you into doing something that makes you feel uncomfortable, say no. That uncomfortable feeling is your heart letting you know it isn't ready for these actions, whether it is your son wanting to dash across the street by himself, or a lover who wants a little more than you're ready to give. Respect the boundaries that your heart is asking for, and you will come away feeling healthier and more alive.